For starters, we're told, a lot, that we do a great job. Yes, sometimes this is by friends and family, who are probably not starting off completely unbiased. But their observations are still counted and appreciated.
For seconds, we get complimented by Little Old Ladies when we go out to eat. Not every time, but quite frequently. (To clarify, we DON'T go out to eat frequently, we just have a high rate of Little Old Lady praise per outings.) And for those of you who may have never thought of this, a compliment on the behavior of your young children by a Little Old Lady (who's raised 11 kids in the perpetual snow in barefeet when things were different in her time, etc, etc) is QUITE the compliment. These are more often than not women who get up from their seats and drag their husbands over to our table JUST to let us know how much they admire what we're doing with our kids. Some even go so far to mention the behaviors of children they've seen that they do not approve of. And some will comment positively on the fact that we manage our children appropriately in public without the use of electronics (Hallelujah, someone's noticed!). So we take these Little Old Lady compliments in high regard, for sure.
And lastly, they're pretty well-behaved in general. Sure, they have their times of general moodiness, sure, they make mistakes in judgment, sure, they have tantrums at times. They are totally not perfect and experience life and learning as we all do. But for the most part, there are no major embarrassments in the public eye, certainly nothing that has gotten them into trouble by others (i.e. - neighbors, the school, police, rampant aliens, etc). And we can take them along to places we need to go throughout our week without issue. (Exception being two letters - RJ. More on that later. We've had a doozy of a day with THAT guy. But he's a work in progress...)
So when it comes to parenting, we feel like we've got the juice to back up saying that we're doing a good job.
But we're outsiders in 2014. Not everyone recognizes our keen parenting skills. In fact, some people must think we're poor, uneducated, negligent, low-intelligence, sorry excuses for parents. But the people that think that are not the parents of yesteryear, they're more likely to be today's parents, subjected to all the Big Hype marketing of the Big Baby Stores (yeah, you know who I mean...).
Like when we were out to breakfast, and saw people we know walk in. Grandparents, Mom, Dad, and toddler, just 3 months older than our RJ, who was at the time 10 months old. We had gotten our food, we were all eating. Including RJ, who was working on some scrambled eggs, bites of sausage, some hash browns which were scattered all over his end of the table. Have you met our kid? There's no way in heck he's getting a hold of a plate that will likely end up crashing to the floor. So yeah, he (and the ones before him) eat off the table. No, we don't wipe it. Yes, we expect that it looks generally clean before we start. We smile and wave to the people we know. Not that we were watching or anything, but it was quite a production: 4 adults to get the highchair ready and then it happened. The big, colorful, fluffy thing came out of the giant baby bag, and it took the same 4 adults to stuff it properly in the highchair. Roger looks at me with the "uh-oh" look. I look back at him with the "oh-no" look. We glance at our son at the same time. Our little whipper-snapper of a child, wild and messy, eating right off the table, touching the wood of the high chair. We burst into laughter at the same time. Now, we have no confirmation of what they thought of us, but based on the amount of pomp and circumstance they went through just get the kid into the seat, we can conclude that they might have had some sort of general opinion of us, that is, if they had time to notice us in between hovering over the kid to make sure no one farts in his general direction...
So, in sum, we must be totally ignorant for going out to eat and not sanitizing the table, for not using a disposable completely-not-Earth-friendly plastic stick-on expensive baby table cover, for cutting our child's food RIGHT ON THE TABLE (OMG, right?!) and then letting him eat it. And shame on us for not buying one of these:
Right?
Honestly. Who lets their kid CHEW on the handle of the grocery cart? Why on Earth don't we own one of these:
Furthermore, how awful are we (in this world where car windows and elevators and fancy cabinet drawers and everything else that opens and shuts has technology to detect a finger, hand, or body so that no one ever has to try to jump out of their skin while yelling at the top of their lungs and wait for the parent in the front seat of the damn car to figure out what they're yelling about and open the window...I mean, who would remember a thing like that, anyway...), so yeah, how awful are we to not own these:
And (shhhhhhhh, don't tell anyone, lest they arrest us!) - we have ZERO baby gates in our house!!!! We did for a little bit, in the very early walking stage of the youngest two, a multi-paneled fold-up gate (curb find - $0!!) that we lazily placed in front of the stairs to give us that extra 3 seconds or at least an audible alert (i.e. gate crashing down, hopefully not on kid...) that something problematic was about to occur. Our kids actually have FREE ROAM on the house. Well, not exactly. We teach them where they can and cannot go. Where they can go freely, and where they need permission to go. It takes patience, and time, and repetition. LOTS of repetition. Persistence, and consistency. We could do this, because we supervise our children. Supervision of the normal variety, we don't own any helicopter blades. We supervise especially when they're very young, and always until they've learned things along the way that increase their independence while ensuring their safety at the same time. Small experiences, even ones that don't go as planned or cause tolerable amounts of pain, are huge learning experiences. Taking the time to teach allows us all more freedom in the end. And that's part of why we don't do this:
Nobody puts baby in the corner - at least in our house. (Sorry, I had to...)
There have been times I go all Mercenary Rebel in the Big Baby Store, (which I rarely go to, but ours is combined with the Toy version, and sometimes we get gift cards to spend and end up there, swimming in aisles of Junk, Junk, and more Junk). I will see an obviously First-Time couple get up from the round desk, looking like deer-in-headlights, the husband has actually figured out how to display his thoughts above his head and I see giant dollar signs flying up in the air, the mom, well, her pregnant ass is still trying to get out of the chair... but anyway, sometimes I follow them. If they seem like reasonable folks who might get what I am saying, sometimes I strike up a conversation and summarize what they actually, really need to bring that baby home. You know, a car seat, a stroller, some clothes and some diapers. I give them the luxury list, too - a Boppy pillow and a decent brand baby wrap for wearing. And I have been thanked and thanked and thanked for this.
Shame on the all the marketing for new parents, the products that are designed to scare the living shit out of people who are already wondering about their abilities to care for this new little life they'll be meeting soon. Shame on the companies who create these products designed and marketed to "protect" children. What they're really doing is contributing to a generation of kids who are not going to know how to protect themselves or make decisions in the long run. You don't stay away from things that are hot if you don't experience hot. You can't learn to walk up and down the steps and not fall on your head if they're not available for you to try. And someday when you have to make a choice to do what's right and there's no safety product in place to provide the answer for you, well, you might just make the wrong choice.
Now, back to my open stairs and unlocked oven I go... and I even managed TWO awesome movie quotes in this post. Tee-hee. :)
