4 Years Ago Right Now....

(And just so you're aware, RIGHT NOW is 11:46PM on July 6th, 2014)... so 4 years ago right now, I was JUST STARTING labor with the one that I swear was supposed to be born on her due date.  Since I've got to finish this in the next 12 minutes to even make sense timewise - I'll make it short.  Riley's Post will come later, but tomorrow is her birthday.

July 3rd she was due.  July 3rd I woke up in a puddle.  Not to be gross if you've never had kids, but we, Roger and me both, smelt the puddle.  It was NOT pee.  So we went to the Birth Center.

Duh, right?

One, two, three midwives tested me.  We're really not sure, they said.  But you're obviously not in labor, so off you go.

And we went.

Nothing.

Nada.

Zilch.

I walked.  I ate spicy.  I lifted cinderblocks.  Then I lifted and threw them.

Nothing.

July 4th - fireworks.

Nothing.

July 5th - went to work.  So pissed off at people who ask me, "Are you still here?!?"  "Yes, dumbass, and if you ask me again, I'll punch you in the face!"

My phone rings incessantly.

"Are you in labor?"  "Are you in labor?"  "Are you in labor?"  "Are you in labor?"  "Are you in labor?"

Gaaahhh.

July 5th - I fall asleep around 9pm and I wake up in a puddle AGAIN a few hours later. We both smelt the puddle, it is NOT pee.  I had two kids already and one was a standard bed-pisser.  I know what piss-bed smells like!

Off to the Birth Center again.

This time it tests like amniotic fluid.

But I'm not in labor.

And no fluid has leaked since that puddle. Her head is down on the hole in the bag and acting like a stopper.

Well, what the fuck now?

Go home.  Try to get in labor.  Call us back.  (Honestly, I friggin LOVE the Birth Center, midwives are the best!  But that right there, that above, is a darn frustrating thing to be told!)

We go home.  We finish packing.  Pack the car.  Roger is frantically putting up trim in the recently-finished (try yesterday) living room that has no furniture.

At 1pm we go to Chinese Acupuncture.

It sucked.

$75 for NOTHING.

I know I have only 24 hours since my water broke (or at least since it was recorded) until I have to go into the hospital to be monitored for risk of infection.

It's 4 pm. We have 7.5 hours to go.

Not a SINGLE contraction.

The midwives call me.  Castor oil?

Yeah, I don't like shitting much.  (Yes, that's what I told her.)

But they convince me.  It's the Poop Juice Shake or the hospital in a few hours.  Grab a shake on the way, let's do it here since this is your 3rd.  

I buy the peanut butter shake and mix it in and drink up.

Nothing happens.  NOTHING.

We play 500 Rummy for hours with our nurse, our midwife and the midwife-in-training.  The trainee is very excited, it's her first week catching.  

Still nothing happens.  

Okay, fine, not nothing.

I shit.  A whole lot.  But it's not bad like the internet said.  It's more mild than a bad stomach flu.

Then it's 11PM. 

Why don't you two lie down and get some sleep while I make some phone calls to the hospital?  

And I lay on the bed and cry because I don't want to go to the hospital.

I call my mom around 11:30.  Crying.

And as I lay there, I feel.... contractions.

They get bad fast.  I hang up the phone.

My midwive WAS off doing my paperwork for the hospital transfer... but then the other Mom there went into labor (strange thing, she and I were actually both in the same situation, approaching 24 hours and NOT in labor... the transfer they were arranging was for BOTH of us and hence it took more time... )

I start pacing the room through contractions.  They are coming hard and fast, 30 seconds from the get-go and getting longer and stronger.  

No one is checking on us, as they don't know I'm in labor.  I'm supposed to be sleeping so I can be rested for the fight I'm about to have with the hospital on how to manage me and my birth my transfer.  

It's 12:30am. Roger says, ummm, they're every 2 minutes.  Should I go get someone?

"NO!" I knew we were past the 24 hour mark, and I'll be darned if I was going to that hospital now.

The midwife sticks her head in to tell me the paperwork is almost done but we have to wait until the other Mom gives birth now, and she's so sorry to make me wait, and.... she stops when she sees me stop walking and waddling and wincing.  

"She's in labor, too!" she yells across the hall.  She checks me quickly, I'm at an 8.  

"Do I have to go to the hospital?" I ask.  "You ain't going anywhere!" was her answer.  

They are instantly in a pinch... the student midwife isn't allowed to attend alone, the other Mom and me are moving at the same pace, and policy states a nurse must be individually assigned to each Mom past 6 cm.  

They call for back-up.

The midwife comes in and says, "Ummm, you think you can hold off a little?  We got someone to come in, but I don't know how soon she'll be here."  

Then it gets really crazy.

Transition hits... both of us.  I can hear her across the hall.  And I can hear me over on my side of the hall.  

The midwife and nurse and the student all running back and forth.  It looks like something from the Three Stooges.

I'm ready to push, and I'm flippin tired, not really from being in labor, but from all that thinking-that-I-was-going-to-have-to-give-birth-in-a-hospital nonsense.  

I get on the bed and try to sit up as much as I can.  

I hear the other room sounds change from transition and pushing to happy-baby-mama-sounds.  

The back-up nurse comes flying in and so does the midwife and student.

I push and tell Roger to stand back.  "I know how to do this shit," I say to him.  And I hear the midwife and student burst into laughter.  

I push through the next 3 contractions and she is nearly there.  This shit hurts, so I am not wasting any time.  

Since there was a student, I get to hear all the talk about what-is-going-on.  Awesome.  I didn't really feel the Ring of Fire... until you said the word "FIRE."  Thanks a bunch.  

When her head comes out, the fluid that has been dammed up for a long time (my suspicion is that it DID actually break on the 3rd, but I guess we'll never really know...) gushes out and splashes on the floor.  

And Roger's shoe.  "I got ur shoe," I tell him, with a big grin on my face.

1 hour and 49 minutes after it started, I get another good contraction and Riley is born.  The student catches her.  I think it was her first.  She tells me later she hopes every client is just like me (except maybe for all that cussing, which, by the way, I DID apologize for... ) and that she had so much fun.  

Phew.  

I'm just freakin glad I didn't end up in the hospital.  It would've sucked for me, yes.  But boy, oh, boy, would it have sucked for anyone who got in my way.  

And now, I think I'll go get some sleep.  

'Cuz we got a big ole' 4 year old birthday to celebrate tomorrow! 

T minus 2

The wasteful days of public school began about 2.5 weeks ago, when homework became intermittent, which really means to gather up all those Homework Passes the kids earned all year and turn 'em in to get out of those last assignments.  They've watched movies, played games outside and had parties - at school.  Honestly, why bother.  But when you have kids that attend public school, they obviously don't want to miss the "fun" part of school, that ever-lasting end of the year.  So they go, and we have two more days left, half-days.  The change in routine confuses us all.  Today was a half-day, and since all my kids are playing in the backyard with the neighbors (except for the little napping boy), I keep having to correct myself, that it's WEDNESDAY at 2PM, not FRIDAY at 5PM.

So many moms around town are all like, "Oh My God, school's almost out...what am I gonna do?  I'm not even ready."  "We signed up for the pool so I can get them out of my hair all day."  "I'm going crazy thinking about my kids being home all day."

I suppose because their children are a nuisance.  I really can't say why they say these things.

For reasons unknown to me, I do better when all of my kids are here.  When my big two are at their Dad's house, I have to put in extra effort to muscle through my day, as it feels like something's missing... which is true- my kiddos are missing!

The school year is difficult for me, coming out of summers where I have all my guys and usually some of somebody else's every day, into a world where the days are much quieter, and I putter around trying to find purpose in my day.

I get significantly more done house-wise when there are more kids here.  I run more errands, check more random stuff off my mental checklists, do more laundry and more dishes, and cook better meals.  I just function better.

Summer (and beyond... ha) with my kids is awesome for me.

Here we are at Chase's baseball game.  He plays at a different field than Indy's softball games, but there were of course a number of times their games overlapped and I got to criss-cross across town all night.  

Speaking of baseball, Chase's skills have really improved this year.  He's been pitching almost every game, a 2 inning limit at this level.  He's struck out players several times.  He really enjoys pitching. He also is one of the better hitters on the team, and makes plays in the outfield that are, like, real baseball.  It's really neat to see not only him, but the whole league of the Minors really learn and refine the game this year.  

I cleaned the kitchen counter top, which totally was in need.  This lasted until.... lunch. 

Longer, warmer days mean harder play.  RJ konks out on the couch.  

Riley practices Money Math.  

It rained last night.  A lot.  Chase's play-off game got paused due to a downpour and will continue tonight where it left off. We came home, and since we were already soaked, played in the water on the back patio until the sun went down.  

So much fun.  

Riley drew her family on the marker board.  From left to right: Chase (he's sad because he had to go to the doctor), Mom, Indy, RJ (first she drew RJ in Mom's belly, which was corrected, and she made us aware that it was RJ, not a different baby), herself (she's doing a flip), and Dad (he's tall, and he's an old man).   Bwahahahaha!

The Un-Farmer Version of Homeschool

Hello there from the Un-Farmer, which is much more fun to call oneself than the "brand-new homeschooling mom."  Now that we've cleared up the definition confusion on "Homesteading" and "Homeschooling" in the last post, time to move on to what will soon be our new norm.  

As we move forward, and with being on the 7th-to-last day of school here in PA (OMG - seriously I just figured this 3 days ago...), our plan is to start slow in summer, adding one, maybe two learning pieces on top of what we already do in summer.  

What do we already do in summer?  

Well, I guess if you had to sum it up, our regular summer learning sounds a lot like... homeschool.  Parts of it, anyway.  

The school-aged kids are given a binder with a weekly list of grade-level spelling words (about 20 per week) and each week they copy, study, write (print and cursive), make a sentence, copy sentences, then quiz, over the course of 4 days.  Any incorrect get written seven times each.  

We use IXL.com for math, it's a more of a review format, rather than lessons, and so far, each kid completes the grade year they're entering.  As a side note, and to help anyone in the same situation who may ever read this, the fact that the kids were breezing through their next-grade material in the summer prior should have been a sign that we would eventually run into issues from being at the top of the class, their subsequent boredom, and the inevitable school response of using them to help others in the classroom (as the class can't move on until mostly everyone's got it).  Don't get me wrong, it's a fantastic skill to be effectively able to help others, and I'm grateful my kids have had that opportunity.  But it adds to my general concern that my kids are going to school for approximately 7 hours a day, and spending a good portion of that 7 hours waiting for the class to catch up, being bored, or being handed "Enrichment Packets" - which is a nice term for "Here, Do Some More Work Because You're Smart and I Need To Keep You Busy Right Now."  
Inevitably, someone has a science kit or two that's leftover from Christmas, and a craft kit or two that's leftover from a birthday in their closet, so we break those out and hit 'em hard.  

The loose-leaf pages in their spelling notebooks can be for anything they want.  Chase usually writes short stories about baseball or fantasy heroes and wars.  Indy sometimes writes letters to friends, but she also makes lists, itemized restaurant menus, and stories about cats or puppies.  

So they do a lot over the summer already.  

As for getting started in our homeschool, PA has a required list of subjects, and we have a general plan for how to attack each one.  Math is not difficult for me, but I find it dull and boring (people and behaviors are SOO much more fun!), so if anything, Math may be the one subject that we purchase curriculum for.  TopScience.org has really wonderful and affordable kits, everything from human anatomy to light to gravity and more. Everything else we already have access to, have found online in the form of free lessons, or can get from our library. 

We've all signed up for something different at the YMCA on Wednesdays, so we'll pack a lunch and do our activities before noon, eat, then stay for the pool.  

Riley is really into animals, so we'll hit our (tiny) local zoo about once a week (which is normal for us anyway), but this time we'll be armed with research on ONE animal in particular for each time we go.  Hopefully twice a month, we'll go down to the Philly Zoo and learn about even MORE animals.  

There are PLENTY of historical places within an hour's reach of home, here in southeast PA.  

As far as "socialization," well, quite frankly, we are not worried about it.  Friend time over the summer will be normal, and we know we will come across other homeschool families in our daily travels once other kids are back in school.  If in doubt, just go to "Kids Eat Free on Tuesdays" at Ikea.  Since there is no limit on how many kids eat free, there is more than one table of homeschooling frugal Mamas.  

And once we "find our groove" with our curriculum we will decide if we have time in our week or month to join a local co-op or group.  But as I said, we are social just within our family, at community events, with our extended family, at various activities we do, and more.  I am not worried about my kids not getting enough socialization with their same-aged peers because it isn't a necessary skill for adulthood and the real world.  We don't all work with same-aged people, or work-out with same-aged people, or even form adult friendships with same-aged people.  I think it's beneficial for kids to know how to socialize with ALL ages.  And I can bring to mind several examples, in both the middle and elementary schools, of kids that I DON'T want my kids socializing with... 

Will this be easy for us?  I doubt it, not at first.  And it shouldn't be.  Just like all things, this will take effort, work, time, patience, acceptance when something's not working, and the fluid ability to go with the flo.  The exciting part is our new schedule - which is ours to create.  Our early-risers can rise early.  Our night-owls and late-sleepers can stay up and sleep in (to a point...!).  The foyer might even get a little cleaner (wishful thinking, probably) without loads of bookbags and lunchbags to trip over daily.  To be able to take our learning wherever we want to go, without having to wait for a bus, or a kid to get home, or to drive back and forth every few hours.  And, if the summer doesn't work out, we march up the hill and register for school.  :)  
But I'm pretty sure things will work out.  Even without being Farmers.